"Someone" (name withheld to protect the guilty) sent me an email a while back, and I couldn't help answering some of the deep thoughts included. These were meant to be rhetorical questions asked for humor, but being the extreme literalist I am, I couldn't help myself. I was going to answer ALL of them, but then even I got bored, so I decided to spare you.
Yes. This is kind of like asking if you can pee in a pool, although crying underwater is acceptable.
With my "extensive" research from Wikipedia, I can tell you that you don't have to be that important. It's more to do with the motivation of your assassin (or murderer, if they have no idealogical bent and weren't employed to bump you off). Once again, it's not about you. =)
This is a supply/demand question. You're always eager to supply opinions, but you must demand people listen to them.
Square boxes are cheaper to make and assemble.
We weren't in a luggage race with the Soviet Union. At least, not that I know of.
Yes. Just like if a blind person goes to a funeral home, it's still called a viewing.
I think the answer to this question should be obvious (the key word being "decent"), and that we should begin preemptively jailing people who eat burnt toast to prevent them committing unspeakable crimes/really bad art.
I believe you're making a lyrical error in this fine old song...the lyric is "Jimmy crack corn and I don't care". Someone cares. It's still not about you.
Clearly, he was an electrical engineer and not a mechanical engineer.
I'm sure he'd be happy for you to share your source for roadrunner filets. Also, have you never heard the term "grudge match"??
READ THE LABEL. What am I, the Book of Knowledge? Sheesh.
No. Just like heredity doesn't come from herons. (Subtracting "ity" plus the preceding two letters and then adding "ons" does not a joke make.)
Yes. You're a freakin' musical genius. Don't talk to me until you can hum the themes from Star Wars, Raiders of the Lost Ark and Superman in quick succession.
What? "Hemisphere"? You mean, "atmosphere"?? Really, now I think you're just being ridiculous.
My dog never got mad at me when I blew in his face. Perhaps you should have a Tic Tac, because, DUDE, if your dog thinks your breath is bad....
JiffNotes |
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Since I know at least ONE of you out there is simply DYING with the SUSPENSE...I did not get picked to serve on a jury. In fact, I got to go home at lunch! And, you know, work the rest of the day. Yay. |
2 comments:
Cute and funny! Thanks!
THANK you.
Those "funny" emails typically result in a lot more eye-rolling over here than ROTL.
:)
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